Red Flags to Look Out for When Meeting Someone Online (or Offline)

So, you’ve matched with someone on a dating app—exciting! Or… is it?

Let’s be honest. We all like to present the best version of ourselves online—choosing the most flattering photos, exaggerating hobbies just a little (yes, of course, I love hiking at sunrise!)—but some people take it to another level. What starts as harmless embellishment can quickly spiral into full-blown 🚩 red flags 🚩—and if you’re not paying attention, you might just miss them.

If you’re naturally empathetic, always considering other people’s feelings (perhaps at the expense of your own), you need to be extra cautious. Your intuition matters just as much as theirs—if not more.

Now, I’m not saying you should turn into Sherlock Holmes and investigate their entire life history (although a quick Google search never hurt anyone), but a little vigilance can go a long way. So, here’s a short but crucial list of red flags that should make you pause—and question.

🚩 Their ‘Career’ Sounds… Suspiciously Flexible

Ever met someone who claims they have a thriving career, yet somehow has an absurd amount of free time? They talk about being an entrepreneur or freelancer but never quite explain what they actually do. Or maybe they claim to have a high-profile job but also spend a suspicious amount of time “helping a friend” with odd jobs.

🔍 Reality Check:

If their main job sounds more like a passion project and their side gig seems to take up all their time, chances are their actual career isn’t what they claim. No shame in any honest job—but if they feel the need to disguise the truth, why?

🚩 They Call or Text… Way Too Much

This one goes hand in hand with the first flag. If they have so much free time to call you during the day (while you’re at work), they’re either super needy or alarmingly available—which might mean they’re not as busy as they say.

I get it—getting attention feels good. But if they’re bombarding you with messages and calls all day, every day, you have to ask:

❓ Do they have a life outside of me?
❓Is this attention sweet, or is it suffocating?

Because what starts as cute can quickly become clingy. And trust me, clingy is never cute in the long run.

🚩 They Drop the L-Bomb… Way Too Soon

Ah, the intoxicating rush of new romance—where everything feels straight out of a rom-com. But if someone is professing undying love within days or weeks, pump the brakes.

🔍 Reality Check:

Love takes time to grow. If they claim to love you before they truly know you, one of two things is happening:

1. They’re emotionally impulsive (red flag).
2. They know exactly what they’re doing—fast-tracking emotional attachment to make you dependent on them.

And before you know it, you’re forcing yourself to say it back, just to avoid an awkward moment. Real love has no deadline. If it’s genuine, it won’t need to be rushed.

🚩 They Shower You With Gifts… A Little Too Soon

A thoughtful present? Lovely. A small token of appreciation? Sweet. An avalanche of expensive gifts early on? Questionable.

🔍 Reality Check:

This could be love bombing—a manipulation tactic designed to fast-track emotional attachment. Ask yourself:

❓ Is this generosity sustainable, or just a tactic to reel me in?
❓ What happens when the gifts stop?
❓ Am I being emotionally bribed?

Because once you’re hooked, the gifts might suddenly disappear—and you could find yourself giving more than you ever receive.

🚩 They Always Have an Excuse for Why They Can’t Pay

Ever been on a date where they conveniently forget their wallet? Or swear their paycheck just hasn’t come in yet—but promise they’ll pay you back?

And at first, they do pay you back. But then… they don’t.

🔍Reality Check:

Fast-forward a few months, and suddenly, paying you back isn’t even a topic of conversation anymore. Instead, you hear:

“But we’re a couple—we share things, right?”

Funny how you seem to be the one sharing more. And you’re not even married yet!

If they consistently rely on you financially without reciprocation, it’s time to reassess.

🚩 They’re in a Hurry to Get You Into Bed

It’s no secret that physical intimacy can fast-track emotional bonding—and some people use that dynamic to their advantage.

Studies show that women often form emotional attachments more quickly after sex (thanks, oxytocin!), while for some men, the excitement can fade once the “chase” is over.

🔍 Reality Check:

Some people rush into physical intimacy not because they’re deeply connected to you, but because they know it will make you more connected to them.

Before diving in, ask yourself:
❓ Is this happening on my timeline—or theirs?

If it feels rushed, trust that feeling.

💡 First Impressions Aren’t Always Reality

Especially in today’s world, where a quick Google search for “how to impress a date” can teach anyone the art of seeming like the perfect partner—without actually being one.

That’s why the best advice is simple: Take things slow. Get to know them at a steady pace. Don’t let excitement cloud your judgment.

I’m not saying you need to become paranoid or build an emotional fortress (unless you’re into that). Just… listen to your instincts. Pay attention to patterns. And above all, TRUST YOUR GUT (as long as it’s a reasonable one).

After all, the right person won’t pressure you, trick you, or manipulate you. They’ll simply be there—showing love and respect, without the red flags. 🤗

What are some dating red flags you’ve encountered? Let’s chat in the comments!💬